|the responsible thing
||[Apr. 2nd, 2017♠ |♠05:55 am]
|||||shake it like a dog--kane & abel||]|
i decided to be responsible last night. knowing if i went, i would have to have a drink or two just to put my anxiety in check. and once i start drinking, it's hard to just stop when i'm out and feelin good. sooo i stayed my ass at home. still found a lil outfit. i can use the next time i go somewhere. it is just too cute. MAN i gotta get my body right cuz bitch ain't no way i'm supposed to be in the plus section bitch. no fuckin way! i got that large, but i'm a lil unsure. i'ma try it on again and see if i wanna keep it or take my L and go up a size.
i'm bout to hit this shower and get ready for work. good thing about these early shifts is they pass fast and ya be out in time to still be proactive in life lol. i'ma hit dude up later on cuz he hit me up when i was out shopping yesterday and i missed his lil call or wuteva.
i gotta get past my insecurities bruh. i could be in a relationship right now, but my ass is running. i honestly don't know how to be in a relationship. i don't know how to be a gf anymore.. it's been so long. and now that i'm so close, temptation is coming all out the woodwork. i know i'm not ready to fight it just yet. i think i'd rather be single in a way because i'm not putting myself in a vulrnerable position. i'm in my safe space. and how i like being alone. man i need a nigga who just come out the blue and change that. i haven't had a connection like that in a minute. last person i felt i could be around like that, he knocked my ass up and took that flight overseas... ain't that a bitch?!! that nigga got thee fuck! shit i'm finally to the point in which i don't think about him every single day. and i can finally hold back the tears when i do. thank God for that... but yea, it's almost 6. i gotta shower right quick and throw these clothes on... ciao!