||[Jun. 25th, 2017♠ |♠12:16 am]
Well I'm back. Everyone is saying don't tell him what I know.. just play along. It's hard tho. I only talked to him like twice today. Compared to all the times I usually talk to him throughout my day. And it was shitty. I had an attitude. It's hard to be all lovey dovey when I just found out he's a complete fraud. I see he must not be interested in spending much time. I mentioned how I want to do something and this is my weekend off.. yet all we did was hit a sport's bar last night. He never tried to do anything with me. He's always at his bar.. probably has many women. Sucks man cuz I really was feelin the dude. Thought I might be onto something. Unfortunately, it's just like every other situation I come across. Lies, lies, and more lies. He had the nerve to mention my insecurities. Bitch you don't think you lying is making it much worse??? And every time I confront him about it, he threatens to let me go. He can just do that bruh. I wonder if he's even gonna call me back tonight. Guess only time will tell.
I want someone for myself. Brandon couldn't be that for me. He was such a turnoff. But with him, I was ready to take that chance. I had my doubts by it being so sudden. But the feeling I got with him was just unremarkable. His eyes, his face, his body, or chemistry.. why he couldn't be that one for me?? Looking at his shit, he appears to be single. It's just the lies man. The fuckin lies. Apparently he has 5 kids.. with the last one, that would make 6. Now the oldest look just like him and appear to be mixed. The next 3 look like the chick. I even thought that maybe they may be hers and have a different dad. But who the hell knows. That talk we had by the water just really put the icing on the cake. I felt like that was him being honest with me, but maybe not. I guess I'll go watch some tv or something.
This thing called "Life" is so confusing... and painful.