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love tko... time travel [Apr. 27th, 2017♠ |♠03:57 am]
[Listenin' II |dru hill--i should be]

i been going to that same spot lately. it's my friday thing. friday before last we ended up hooking up.. ughh i'm hella attracted to him, but damn! i had a feeling he had a small one cuz the previous week i asked for a pic.. that he never sent. most niggas send the shit without you even asking. and that night, he ws a lil too quick turning the lights out smh. but yea, it was tiny man. he claims to be single, but he's way too distant to me. we talk here and there, but it's never about anything. you know how when you meet someone and the two of you are attempting to get to know one another.. you ask questions and shit.. you kno, you actually come across as being interested. but not him. it's as if he's hiding something. his fine ass probably does have someone. but i know one thing, if that's the truth.. that dick ain't fiya enough to make a bitch like me go to war... lol no dick is. but i wouldn't even break a sweat over that there.

i got his number about 2 months ago. texted him 2 weeks ago. of course no respond. i'm feelin all types of shit right now so i decided to call. the bitch changed his fuckin number!! shit like this brings me to tears. i don't understand it and i never will. idgaf bruh.. my son ever make a kid i wanna know. idc what the situation is. i'll be sure that he takes care of his kid, the female is a nonfactor. idc if it was a one time thing. dna don't lie. and if it's his. i will be on that ass. that's YOU...ain't no running away bihh! but bruh.. every now and then i think about it and the shit really is painful. lookin into his eyes, seeing that big beutiful smile.. he is just so amazing. too amazing to be ignored by the man who helped create him... it's life though. i hope and pray he eventually makes the right decision.

it's crazy how you like certain songs. but you're not in love with them. then suddenly you catch something you'd been missing the whole time. i mean one day you go from liking it to feeling it. out of nowhere. i been listening to love tko back to back tonight. i've always liked the song, but about 2-3 months ago i got on it heavy as hell. i just LOVE how it begins.. the music. the melody. his voice. everything about this track is just LOVE... everytime i'm out and in my zone, i request this damn song. another one i love just as much is EWF's love's holiday.. and especially the demo version. there's nothing like listening to those 2 songs through earphones.. those songs are everything.

if i could have a super power. it would definitely be time travel. i would go back and watch teddy and EWF perform those songs that's for sure. but the thing that i think about on a typical day is.. what was life like then? for example.. the house i grew up in was built on swamp land. i sometimes wonder what it was like before construction started in the area. like if i see a dead tree or some shit. i start wondering about the events that occurred in the area when that tree had life. how about when it first began to grow.. i think about generations and how 400 years really isn't as long as one would think. let's just say each generation lives 100 yrs. that's my grandfather's great grandfather who would have walked the streets during that time. too bad my grandparents passed before i got really into this shit. i would have so many questions. the things from the past that i yearn to know. that i wish i could experience. i wish i could be a fly on the wall and just have the honor to observe some things. this shit got me tearing up cuz it's so real to me. i just wanna know man. and how genes work.. i might have a great-great-great relative who i resemble. who knows? i need to get to that library at tulane and check out the collection they have on my great grandfather. it's 3 boxes of stuff. i know i'm gonna be too excited. probably shed a few tears as well.
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